I have been meditating on this lyric of the beloved hymn “Tis So Sweet” this afternoon and evening.
How do we trust God when things are hard? When we walk through the valley; when tragedy strikes.
It’s all His grace…even that we can trust Him at all is His grace. Oh, for the grace to trust Him more!
I’m praying for grace to trust Him more throughout each step that lies ahead. A prayer of mine is to know God more myself through this journey. We see in the scripture that suffering draws us in a particular way deeper into fellowship with the Lord. There is much unknown in the days ahead, but instead of fear ruling in my heart, I choose to trust Him. God is the author of my story, and I trust His character.
In this past week as I’ve been processing the Eddings tragedy, and finding out some terrible news from another dear friend, I’ve spent much time in prayer. God continually speaks to me “My daughter, I am good, and my mercy will endure”. When so much is unknown and difficult to understand, I just rest in His character, and that HE is God. Trying to understand God’s ways is like trying to get my three year old Hannah to understand calculus. That’s where our trust comes in…trusting in WHO God is in the midst of every circumstance.
“Be still and know that I am God.” Psalm 46:10
Glimpses of Grace:
~I have felt pretty well this week, with a couple of exceptions. I was able to take care of my children and have enjoyed being a “normal Mommy” this week, taking them to the playground and getting haircuts; taking all three to the grocery store and getting a free Publix cookie…..this, my friends, is the “good stuff”!
~I felt well enough to worship again this morning and it is always a joy and delight to be with my church family at NEPC
~Hearing my children pray for me each night…I love their tender hearts, and even though our prayer time is rarely PERFECT, it is precious to me. (side note, the prayer time is hilarious too. Tonight Hannah prayed for all the airplanes and that they wouldn’t fly into her. She’s a hoot!)
Here’s how you can pray for me this week:
~pray for my hemoglobin numbers. They are lower than the nurse likes to see and if they get too low I’ll have to have a blood transfusion which could delay my treatment. I need for my hemoglobin to be higher than 8
~pray for my Genetic Counseling appointment on Tuesday 6/2. I have no idea what to expect so just pray for wisdom and grace over that time.
~ pray for my treatment on Wednesday 6/3; that the chemo would continue to kill every cancer cell in my body
~pray that the side effects are more manageable this time around, and that I’m able to eat
~pray for everyone who will be helping me take care of my precious children over the next two weeks: Justin, my mother-in-law, my sister, my parents. Pray for lots of good cuddle time with me and that they don’t get too upset seeing Mommy sick
~pray against fear that the cancer has spread. Each time I have a headache or a pain anywhere in my body I have to take that thought captive!
Thank you for your prayers, you’re amazing.
His grace abounds,